If today were your last day where would you fall? Would you be at the front of the group as the best shining example of all those things you claimed to have guided your life? Would you fall in the middle of the pack as having tried and succeeded oft, but fallen short from time to time as well? Would you fall at the back of the group as one who talked a good show and yet didn’t practice that which you preached? Where would you fall?
If today were your last day and the only day of record where would you fall? I am saddened to report that today I let someone get the better of me. I could say that it is because I’ve been under the weather. I could say that it’s because as a monday morn I’m inundated with things from 2 days of folks doing what they will and now it has to be cleaned up, but in the end it was just me. I let someone else trip my trigger and push a button that any other day of the week I’d have let be, and just told myself that I can’t educate those who are not willing to see. But, not today.
Today I spouted off and got in their face about their lack of knowledge and that they should not believe everything Hollywood shoves down their throat. Today, I told someone if they weren’t willing to walk in another mans shoes and take the time to learn what they were rallying against that they should keep their mouth shut. Some folks would applaud that comment, and a part of me is proud of it. There is a significant difference between approve and refute, between acceptance and being walked on. Today, I was not able to stand and say nothing.
Now you may be wondering what the heck this is all about. *chuckles* You see my dear friends, professionally speaking I am a Sexton. A Sexton being an OLLLLD title or term for the carekeeper of a cemetery. Caretaker of the dead if you will. I take this responsibility very seriously and as a higher calling of sorts to create a space for those left behind to come and be comforted, to ease the burden of loss for the grieving, and to provide a quiet place for the dead.
I am also a Pagan. Over the weekend a family evidently took great offense at a star on a cemetery monument and elected burial in another area because it was a ‘pentagram’ and that was bad. Initially, I let this go. When the groundsman retelling the story, added his 2 pennies to state that THAT symbol is for “devil worshippers”, I lost it. I held up my hand and proudly displayed the pentacle/pentagraph that I wear everyday. I explained the symbolism of it and, I am most aggrieved to say, nearly imprinted my Pentagram ring in his face when he looked me square in the eye and said, “devil worshipper”.
Now, I do not normally proselytize my faith, just as most Pagans do not. We firmly believe that when you are meant to find, learn, or walk the path the God and Goddess will make the way known to you. Some never do. We are resolute to this belief. Normally, I do not tout my beliefs nor do I condemn others for theirs. It is not my place to educate someone who has not yet opened their hearts, minds, and eyes to the reality of what I believe. That is for them, and for the Gods. My responsibility is to live the example of how we would wish to be seen. To spread that message in how I act and react. Today I fell dramatically short.
Today, I therefore HOPE that the days that come will allow me to do better. I hope that those who elect to rally against one such as me will stop to understand and know the facts before they elect to open their mouths and speak against a peaceful, cooperative, group of people who seek predominantly to coexist with others for the betterment of us all. Today, I hope for the opportunity to be better than I have been and that the harsh heart I carried this morning will find a way to let go the negative energy and create something positive from the experience. Today I hope that the accounting is for more than my morning, as I was less than my best.
If today were your last day and the only day that would count in the accounting of your life, where would you land?
Many blessings on us all and better tomorrows.